This is an extremely honest post that should probably go in my journal rather than my blog. Last night was the Columbus Christmas parade. We stood outside in 70 degree weather (only in Mississippi is it that warm in December) for what was one of the most ridiculous things I've seen.
Let me preface this post by saying Garrison
really did enjoy the parade. He loved the bands (because of the
drummers) and the fire trucks. Don't he and his daddy look cute???
Are there horses in every Christmas parade?
who knows us knows that one of Will's best friends is black. Orlando
is a God send in Columbus. He loves Will like a brother. For the last
two Thanksgivings we have had dinner at his mom's house with his WHOLE
family. So....I have been a proponent of Garrison going to public
schools because I don't want him to grow up in a "white only" world.
But I've also come to realize that exposing him to other cultures and
people who are different from us is mine and Will's responsibility.
Garrison will always be friends with Nazir (Orlando's 2 year old son)
despite where he goes to school.
The last year or so
Will and I have really been questioning where we will send G to school.
And more and more we've fallen in love with the Catholic school (I'm
not claiming on here that's where he will definitely go, but it is an
option). More than where he WILL go, we've discussed where he WILL NOT
go. And last night was the nail in the coffin for me. There is no way
in h*ll he will go to the Columbus city public school.
the bands and dance teams marched by, and the beauty queens rode by in
their convertibles, and the clubs from schools rode by on floats, there
were no white kids. So not only do I not want G to grow up in a "white
only" world, but I don't want him to be the only white kid.
Here is a "float"...
The 4th runner up in a pageant. 4th runner up....really? That's kind of humiliating.
also had another revelation after I got home from the Christmas
parade. We have no friends here. Will, Garrison and I stood for the
whole hour Christmas parade just the three of us. Everyone in Columbus
is related to someone and they all do stuff with their families. And
most people have grown up here, so they have built in friends. They
don't realize how hard it is to make friends as adults, so they never
invite "outsiders" to do things with them.
When I got
home I realized that I was happy and content the whole time during the
parade with is just being the 3 of us. I honestly didn't even realize
until we got home that we didn't talk to anyone else. But then it hit
me like a ton of bricks.... for it being a community event, we didn't
have much "community." Columbus has been an extremely hard place for us
to live. I pray God moves us quickly. And if He decides we have to
stay in Columbus a little longer, I pray the time goes quickly until
Josh and Meredith move here.